Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
