They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
and she was petting her beer can
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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