no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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