I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
