In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
