please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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