Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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