I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize