He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
