i can't believe i had my finger in that
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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