The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I've blown a few things in my day
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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