Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
