I want to stick my p in your. b.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize