First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
