"it" just moved
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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