Redeem this text for a blowjob
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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