Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
