dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize