the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize