her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
