just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
