Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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