He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
