watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
