my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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