Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
