I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
