Can i not drive my cunt home
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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