fuck your aforementioned shoe
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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