I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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