fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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