Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
