You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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