She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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