so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
