plz talk dirty to me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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