the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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