Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize