so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
