My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
