No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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