just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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