What a fucking waste of an outfit
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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