dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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