One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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