she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
