So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
even my farts smell like vagina
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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