with your own penis?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
