Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I AM VODKA MAN
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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