JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
BRING THE BAGELS
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
