We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
