you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize