Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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