she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
