I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize