Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
