you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
