Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
