my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
