My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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